NAIROBI, Kenya | July 1, 2025: When it comes to sex, one of the most googled questions is: how often have sex? It’s a subject that touches nearly everyone—whether single, in a long-term relationship, or navigating the ups and downs of parenthood, stress, or aging.
We spoke to two experts—Mariàn Martínez and Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn—to cut through the myths and give you real, grounded insights into sexual frequency, satisfaction, and what really matters.
📊 How Often Do Couples Have Sex?
A 2020 YouGov survey found that:
- 27% of adults had sex within the past week
- 11% had sex once
- 9% had it three or more times
In addition, the Natsal-3 study—the UK’s largest sexual behaviour survey—reported that long-term couples typically have sex about once per week, while married or cohabiting couples had sex four times in the last month.
“If you’re having sex once a month and it’s fantastic, that’s more valuable than sex three times a week that feels routine,” says Martínez.
How Often Have Sex — Does Age or Life Stage Matter?
Absolutely. Data shows that younger people tend to have sex more often. The YouGov survey found:
- 18–19 year-olds had sex 3.2 times per week on average
- Adults in their 50s, 60s, and 70s still had sex once or twice a week
It’s all part of hormonal and relational shifts. Testosterone and estrogen levels tend to dip with age, but oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones that promote bonding, increase.
“It’s a myth that getting older means giving up on sex,” says Martínez.
🧠 Is It Normal to Want More Sex?
The Natsal-3 survey revealed:
- Nearly 50% of women wanted sex more often
- About 65% of men wanted more frequent sex
And there’s more than pleasure at stake. A 2025 study published in the Journal of Psychosexual Health found that:
- Women who have sex less than once a week had a 70% higher risk of early death
- Those with depression had a 197% higher risk if they weren’t sexually active
“Sex has powerful health benefits,” says Dr Suwinyattichaiporn. “It reduces stress, boosts immunity, and improves mood.”
What’s the Ideal Frequency Then?
There’s no universal number—but weekly sex is often the sweet spot. A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that couples who had sex at least once a week were happier.
“Forget statistics,” says Martínez. “The only sex frequency that matters is the one that works for both of you.”
When to Worry About Your Sex Life
If you’re feeling disconnected, frustrated, or rejected, it’s time to check in. A lack of sexual intimacy can signal deeper emotional issues.
“Instead of counting how often you have sex, ask how you feel about your intimacy,” says Martínez.
Communication is Key
Honest conversations lead to better sex. A study from Kinsey Institute found that couples who discuss sex openly report higher satisfaction.
“Open dialogue is the first step to the sex life you want,” says Dr Suwinyattichaiporn.
